The things you can learn in martial arts sometime are wordless. An expression of a movement or your interaction with your training partner. A smile when you see an old friend step on the training floor and you shake their hand. These moments can affect us on a very deep level. When training in martial arts how have these wordless interaction helped you?
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In self-defense we seek not to hurt. We only seek balance. You see in self-defense, it not about wining or losing it is about the ending of violence and bringing a balance and order to things. Without balance and order the universe cannot flow. This paradigm shift is very important to do when you want to grow as a person also. It is not about being soft, or ego. It is about balance.