Martial arts takes time to learn. And as we grow as a person, I have found that the martial arts will unfold itself as needed. It will not disclose itself just because we want it to. First, one has to understand one point and the lesson that one learns from the point will reveal the next point. (By understanding I mean it has been an internalized – not just “I got the notes”) An old teacher from 40 years ago said, “even if you saw it, you would not recognize it,” in response to when I asked him about his advanced training. Until the first lesson is internalized, the next lesson will not reveal itself. That is the lesson – it is not written in the notes. Take your time and understand your lessons step-by-step.
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In self-defense we seek not to hurt. We only seek balance. You see in self-defense, it not about wining or losing it is about the ending of violence and bringing a balance and order to things. Without balance and order the universe cannot flow. This paradigm shift is very important to do when you want to grow as a person also. It is not about being soft, or ego. It is about balance.